The last quarter of the year is upon us. Regardless of how the previous three quarters have gone and regardless of where you are right now toward goal, finish strong. You simply must finish strong. 

We travel a lot as a family. Our adventures have taken us to Europe, Central America, and most of the United States. When you travel, you get to experience a lot. There are places to explore, people to meet, mountains to climb, and waters to rest by. Throughout these travels, I am always drawn to the broken-down, forgotten buildings on the side of the road. And I wonder, “Who’s dream was this?” 

Transparency. Everybody wants it. Some people believe it. Not everybody is ready for it. It’s important and complicated because there’s much more going on than the reasonable request for transparency. And that’s the trouble with transparency.

In the SOF world, we have an expression, “admire your work through your sites.” It means to keep looking through your weapon’s optic as you engage a threat. For every shot you take, there must always be two site pictures, one before the shot and one after. We use this discipline to ensure that our weapon, our site picture, and our focus remains on the threat until the threat no longer remains.

The difference between knowing what it takes to be successful and being successful is the execution that leads to consistently achieving your goals. And though I consistently achieved in the Army, after I left the Army, I didn’t achieve my goal until my third year in sales.  

Pain is temporary, pride is forever. Warfighters and athletes use this refrain to keep going when the pain is at its worst. When your muscles are burning, your heart is pounding in your eardrums, you’re shivering from the cold, and all you want to do is quit. But you won’t. You can’t because the mission is greater than the moment. The pain of the moment is temporary. The pride in accomplishing the mission lasts forever. 

I once believed I had to have an opinion about everything. I remember feeling like it was a moral responsibility. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that isn’t true, and that the cost of an opinion is sometimes greater than the gain. 

Last month I graduated from Denver Seminary’s Master of Divinity - Leadership program and have been reflecting upon the experience ever since. Family and friends gathered with us to celebrate, and the two most commonly asked questions were: “What did you learn?” and “What’s next?” I am thankful for the opportunity to breathe, reflect, and share some lessons learned. 

I remember them, all of them. Every day. I don’t live for them, I could never do this justice. I cannot hold myself to any expectation worthy of their sacrifice because I could never earn what they willingly gave. Nobody can. Nobody ever could. We cannot live for them. But we can live.

There is a trend in business jargon to use therapeutic language - words and phrases that originate in psychology and social work. Over the past few years, I've noticed that as the use of therapeutic language in a business context has increased, so too has my discomfort with it. At this stage, whenever words like heard, safe, and trauma come up in a business setting, I mostly bristle. I wonder if others can relate. It bothers me because I know how invaluable therapeutic language is. Yet, in these settings, it lacks substance, hides meaning, and is—at times—manipulative. 

Recently, a friend asked me about “Icebreakers” in large group facilitation. She is working with a group that is coming together for the first time (approximately 80 people). A little over half of the members have been around each other for over 5 years, the other half is entirely new. She suggested an icebreaker for the gathering, which garnered mixed reactions. Some committee members were supportive, others ambivalent, and others strongly opposed it. She reached out to ask for some “professional advice” on the matter. I figure, what the heck! I may as well write down some thoughts and share it with everybody! 

Confidence is critical in leadership. As a young Ranger, I learned an important phrase - “When in charge, be in charge.” It didn’t mean you would be certain about your decisions, it meant you had to be confident to lead. It means that as leaders, we have to own it. We must be confident while accepting that we can never predict the outcomes. Confidence is hard to come by and must be earned over time. You can’t get it from books or podcasts or fake it until you make it. You have to get some reps. And you have to build confidence through the stages of base and learned confidence to gain earned confidence. Earned confidence is experience plus preparation, honed in the arena, for the arena.

It’s hard to believe, but Q1 is OVER. How’s the year going so far? Have you had a chance to look back and reflect on the first three months of 2023? If not (which is totally understandable), we suggest carving out an hour or two to review your goals for this year and see how reality is stacking up. And if we may be so bold, we also recommend revisiting the way in which you go about setting goals in the first place.

Contrast is a powerful educator. Contrast is a striking difference - abrupt and disorienting. Disorientation is essential for learning because–oftentimes–we must be moved off our mark to see things differently. Our mark is where we stand physically, emotionally, and mentally. Our mark can be a topic or a decision we feel certain about. And while some things in life require certainty, most do not.