Two weekends ago was the best birthday I’ve ever had. I spent it with my son at a rock festival in Orlando—something I never could have anticipated when I left the Army for my family in 2009. In 2009, I left the Army to find my way home. It took years to get there. I felt it deep in my gut—even as leaders and family urged me to stay for a host of reasons: I was “good at it,” and we were in a recession.

Both were true. But being good at something isn’t a good enough reason to stay. And headwinds shouldn’t stop us from moving forward. Regardless, that rationality wasn’t as clear and consistent as the pulse in my gut telling me to go home.

I’ve been running my whole life. From soccer to the Army, marathons, and beyond, the miles have added up – the wheels are worn, and the power train rattles. Plantar fasciitis, stress fractures, sprained ankles, bone spurs, nerve damage, runner's knee, arthritis, four hernia repairs, sciatica, upper hamstring tear, and spinal compression are some of the dents in my fenders. 

This means long runs and hikes all come with at least a little discomfort. Sometimes A LOT.

I suppose this leaves me with a choice. Do I keep running, or stop running?

From 2017 – 2022, Kelly and I served in the marriage ministry at Mission Hills Church in Littleton, CO. In that time, I had a number of incredible leadership lessons, perhaps none so resonant as the importance of making peace in our marriages – a lesson just as applicable for all of our relationships.

Not every job is a calling.  

Life’s too short to spend 50% of our waking hours working a job we hate. It’s also too short to spend 100% of our time chasing our dreams into poverty. Sometimes that means leaving a great job that’s killing us; sometimes that means staying in an ok job that’s providing for us. Most of the time our jobs occur on a sliding scale between fulfillment and provision that we need to respect. The reality of this tension is uncomfortable, but it’s something we need to address in our age of “follow your heart” influencers.

Too often, we publish values statements without considering what they look like in real life, identifying them in the workplace, and celebrating those who get it right. Without follow through those earnestly developed words become hollow successories without substance. Many of our clients have leaned into deeds over words this year—it’s been a rollercoaster for most. 

This year, I conducted a social media experiment. I invested more time on Instagram, hoping it would help us get the word out about the book. I’ve had some ups. I’ve had some downs. But mostly, I think I’ve had enough.

Telling someone, “You knew what you were getting into,” is a lot like saying you know how to parent because you read “What To Expect When You’re Expecting”. Ah, I remember being such a great parent…until I became a parent. 

When I had kids of my own, all my observations and acquired knowledge fell short because I came to understand how difficult raising kids is. How emotionally compromising they are. I just never understood until I was responsible for two humans. Like anything in life, a collection of facts does not create understanding. 

Sometimes the best of intentions have unintended consequences. 

Afghanistan in 2003 was rugged. We made do with what we had. Outstations, like Lwara and Asadabad (A-bad), were little more than walled compounds with HESCO barriers for watchtowers and bunkers dug from the rocky ground. Our kitchen was a Mk 19 ammo can with boiling water and a pan of t-rations, our shower, a Ranger Buddy with a water jug.